Reading War: Ben Busch’s Dust to Dust

Dust_to_DustIt was mid afternoon in Djibouti, and I was asleep in my room. The doldrums – purgatory of the time in between when you’ve handed off responsibilities to your replacement and now await airlift home. Time I filled with books and writing. I awoke from the nap, startled, grabbed my keyboard, and wrote from my back with haste before full consciousness stole the inspiration. It wasn’t much, maybe 250 words that fell from my fingertips to the screen in less than five minutes. Hardly War and Peace.

But when I finally took a breath and asked myself, what the hell was that, I already knew the answer. It was Dust to Dust, Ben Busch’s memoir of war and much more, that crept into the fabric of my subconscious and inspired. Books, good ones especially, can be like that. That sense of wonder, as if a veil has been lifted for you, page by page.

Dust to Dust opened my eyes to what is possible in a war memoir, and explored the possibility that a memoir only of war is probably the most untruthful way to write about Iraq and Afghanistan. They were, after all, wars to which we went, and returned from, only to do it again and again and again until the lines between war and home blurred and were lost to us.

The book’s cover doesn’t even chase the term “war memoir,” which is also an honest thing, since it’s a memoir in which war appears but doesn’t drive the narrative. It’s a much larger story whose narrative arc begins with childhood and moves forward and back with regard  only for fragments of scene that match the theme. Speaking of which, Busch does something interesting with the overall structure of the memoir, something I hadn’t yet seen. Busch’s narrator evaluates his life through elemental lenses – things like water, dust, fire, etc. It’s a novel approach in a memoir, worth emulation.

There’s a particular scene in the book, one in which Busch describes his mother’s last moments. It’s one of the heartbreaking and gorgeous scenes I’ve ever read. But what’s most remarkable about it is that the narrator doesn’t tell you how to feel. He makes you feel it through reflective detail in the scene. I don’t want to spoil the moment – you really do need to read it for yourself – but I will never look at rain on a windowpane the same way. It’s a technique employed over and over throughout the book, and a hallmark of a worthwhile literary memoir. The best authors know exactly how to construct a scene from memory in order to convey the emotion felt. It’s not about saying, “I was sad;” but rather, making the reader feel the sadness by magnifying the elements of what one remembers.

Evocative detail – it’s something strong throughout Dust to Dust

And what about that essay, the one that I woke me with a sense of urgency inspired by what I was reading? Well, I’m happy to report that The Normal School, a journal in love with the essay, picked it up a few months ago. It should publish sometime next year. I guess I owe Ben a beer when we meet.

Buy it here.

The Road to Publication

"Oh Well (2)" courtesy of Lydia Komatsu

“Oh Well (2)” courtesy of Lydia Komatsu

When I first started writing again, I’ll admit that I had a pretty narrow view of nonfiction. Just the facts, right? So when I enrolled in UAA’s MFA program, I thought I had everything figured out. It’s amazing what the addition of the word “creative” in front of “nonfiction” can do in terms of detonating paradigms. Within a few weeks, I was exposed to a world of possibility within the world of creative nonfiction. Not just essays either. Prose poems. Lyric essays. Open forms. I distinctly recall writing something for my online semester, then posting a silly comment about it being “flash nonfiction,” which I supposed was an imaginary genre. Our instructor, Sherry Simpson, let me down easy and recommended I check out Brevity. 

It turned out I hadn’t invented anything new. In fact, Brevity had been doing it for some time, publishing essays of 750 words or less. And boy, did those babies hum. Inspired, I had this foolish idea that someday, I could see some of my own work in Brevity. I even had something in mind – a short piece written from a class prompt that seemed to have promise, to hint at something more. 

There were a couple of breakthroughs – one when I decided to fragment the essay. Another big moment was when I embraced the attention to detail needed for such a short piece. I wrote the piece, and edited it about 30 times, which. Then I sent it off to about twenty journals and waited.

I wrote the piece after reading as many Brevity essays as possible, so to say that I wrote specifically for the journal is no exaggeration. Most places rejected it, but I did get one nice note from the editor of Grist, who said they liked it but it didn’t for thematically. Nice, but a rejection no less.

Brevity got in touch, but it wasn’t quite the home run I wanted. They wanted to see a minor rewrite – the conclusion, it was lacking. So I rewrote. Again. And waited some more.

When I received my acceptance email, I was ecstatic. After nearly six months of cutting and editing and agonizing over articles and nouns and format, there it was: Accepted.

At my second summer residency, Ron Carlson said something profound about writing. The reward, he said, was the same whether we get published or rejected; whether we win an award or fail to make the semi-finals. We get to keep writing. That stuck with me, and still does every time something good or not-so-good happens to me as a writer.

So, what’s next now that I’ve published something in an incredible journal?

I get to keep writing.

***

The piece, called “When We Played,” is available to read for free online here. I’d love to hear what you think about the essay in its comment section.

Book Review: “I’d Walk With My Friends If I Could Find Them” by Jesse Goolsby

Read This Book.

Read This Book.

Tom Ricks over at Foreign Policy was kind enough to publish my book review of USAFA graduate and all-around fantastic writer Jesse Goolsby’s debut novel. It’s a stunning, heartbreaking work that I can’t recommend enough. Especially if you want to read about war in a different way, one in which war recedes behind character-driven writing.

To read the full review, go here.