The Land that Shakes

Running has always been my way of getting to know the world around me. When I find myself in new places, I fall in to a familiar rhythm. I study a digital map, pick out a running route, lace up, and head out the door to see what I can see. Over the years, I’ve passed through much at a seven-to-eight minute clip. Now, at age 41, it’s a bit slower — much slower those first few miles — but slowing down has its perks.

Yesterday morning, I stepped through the doors of the Toyoko Inn Narita not expecting much. My Google Map study wasn’t promising: the Tokyo megalalopolis is about a bajillion square miles of concrete and asphalt. One home is virtually indistinguishable from the next, due I suspect to strict building code. High rises and office buildings: it’s all the same. Not quite the cheerless gray of a former Soviet Bloc nation, but also not much better.

But instead of the concrete jungle I expected, I found myself running through agricultural land butting up against the Narita Airport. One moment surrounded by high barriers in between the runway and me, the next padding along rice paddies and small farms. And in between, tunnels beneath the Narita runways like the one pictured above.

In Richard Lloyd Parry’s Ghosts of the Tsunami, Parry talks about the grim resignation that comes with living in Japan, and Tokyo particularly. The projected casualty estimates for a Nankai Trough tsunami-producing earthquake are staggering. Biblical. In one passage, Parry writes of a kind of passing curiosity during which he occasionally evaluates the likelihood that the environment he finds himself surrounded by in that moment might kill him in the event of an earthquake or tsunami.

The first time I passed through the tunnel pictures, on my outbound leg, I chalked up the blue lines on the wall as graffiti, or some kind of mural. But on my return, I stopped and inspected them. The lines, in fact, trace cracks in the concrete. They’re marked with Kanji, surely an engineer’s record of old and new cracks as they lengthen and appear after each temblor. At some point, I imagine, a decision will be made as to whether the tunnel remains structurally sound. And it will be the lines on these walls that inform the decision.

Staring down the tunnel, it was hard to avoid what Parry wrote about: I imagined the terror of being halfway through when a an earthquake strikes, the sight of seawater cascading through both ends. It was a frightening specter. And yet somehow a banal reality in this place.

Turn. Again.

IMG_4458Pictured here to the left is the Turnagain Arm of the Cook Inlet (of the Pacific Ocean.) It was so-named because on his last journey, Captain Cook tried to navigate it in search of the elusive Northwest Passage, but was confounded by the tides and shallow depth. Which caused his explorers to turn, and turn, and turn yet again before finally realizing they probably weren’t getting to the Atlantic that way anytime soon. Hence the name. Turnagain.

I’ve hiked some portion of the mountains on the north side of the arm (the photo is taken looking west.) And at one point, I stopped and stood in the sunshine, three thousand feet above the arm, and imagined an 18th century mariner’s disappointment at what he saw before making one last accursed turn. It’s a useful metaphor for optimism (imagine what we’ll find!), pessimism (why bother?), or pragmatism (might as well try and see what happens), depending on your bent. I’m in the latter camp, if you wondered.

Somewhere way to the right of my photo, far beyond the frame, is Japan. And to be honest, I’m not sure what awaits. I have an idea of the stories that I’ll write as a result of the trip. But it’s a struggle for me to quantify why, exactly, it’s important enough for me to leave my family, my job, and a lot of unfinished everythings to go write about a disaster that occurred seven years ago. But I suppose the best answer I can come up with is this:

I had to.

The stories I’m going to write have burned a hole in me for months, and in one case, years. Look, I get a lot of ideas about things I think I want to write about. Thankfully, I can most of them because they’re crappy ideas. But others stick around until it feels like I might actually go to pieces if I don’t get them down on paper. Sure, I’m deeply connected to the tsunami. And while I respect that personal experience of a thing is more than enough to justify artistic engagement with it, this time I need to do something besides rely on my own memories, read books, and research online. I need to see, to touch, and most of all, to feel the effects of the tsunami in order to feel like I’m doing what happened in 2011 any justice.

And so, I will turn from what it’s in front of me to that which is behind, around, and within; I’ll turn. Again. And I’m going to look as hard as I can for answers I maybe didn’t even know existed. We’ll see what happens.

New Essay up at Tracksmith: Some Thoughts

sakura2

“Sakura”: Lydia Komatsu, 2017

Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows that I love to bemoan the state of running-related writing. Ever since the demise of Running Times, anyone who enjoys good writing about our sport must necessarily put up with pages of puffery from the usual rags. 100 words on the season’s best jock straps. 1000 words on how to train for a marathon on less than 5 miles a week. 200 words on yet another stretching article. Sometimes I wonder if whether writers like Alan Sillitoe (“The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner“) or George Sheehan would have much luck trying to place a piece in today’s general fitness mags.

I’ve written previously about my admiration for Tracksmith’s Meter magazine, which considers itself a literary review for runners. And I’ve been lucky enough to place two pieces there (one online, one in print) in the past couple of years, and now a third. Sure, Tracksmith is an apparel company. But they appear to be a company interested not only in profiting from the sport, but also in furthering the art of running, in all its forms.

“Sakura/Boston 2011” is partly a reflection on what it was like to watch Desiree Linden (then Davila) nearly win the 2011 Boston Marathon from my room on Yokota Air Base, Japan; I was deployed there for the tsunami relief after losing my Japanese grandmother. But for the longest time, I wondered about what it was like for Linden that day, on the other side of the globe.  And this year, over the course of a few interviews with the two-time Olympian herself, I was able to piece it together.

It was a challenging piece to write because of how I chose to build a braided narrative: mine and Linden’s. I didn’t feel like I could write a straight-ahead piece of reportage – my connection to the experience, what it was like, was a driving factor to write the piece in the first place. Early drafts were rough: there’s simply nothing quite so narcissistic as memoirist appropriating someone else’s experience. There was a significant risk of the piece turning into a “here’s how experience X made me feel Y,” which wasn’t my goal. So I did my best to use my experience as more of a lens to view what it was like for Linden during her electrifying performance.

But don’t take my word for it: check out “Sakura/Boston 2011” for yourself. I’ll let you be the judge of whether I was successful if not. The good news is that even if you hate what I wrote, you can enjoy more of my sister’s incredible artwork, which she created specifically for the piece itself.